Tag Archive | funny

Added – A dash of humor to my day!

feetToday was chock full of appointments.  I got dressed up, put on my high heels and ventured out.  I’m from the boonies, and where I live there is not as much traffic as where I was headed.  There are also no one way streets and parking garages.

Yes..the fun was just beginning.  Around and around and around I drove, literally! My GPS said take the next right over and over as I tried to reach my destination, and apparently kept passing it. I didn’t see the building I was looking for, nor did I see the parking lot that was supposed to be next to it.  I opted for a parking garage in the general area of my destination.  I drove in, and asked the attendant if I could park there, or if it was only for Hotel visitors as it was attached to a hotel.  He told me to go ahead, and down under the building…eek..creepy! So I did, and it was cramped to say the least down there.

The elevator sign said “Hotel Lobby”, so I hesitated, and asked a man getting off the elevator how to get to Main Street, that I was not going to the hotel.  He assured me to go up to the Hotel Lobby and then exit to Main.

This was NOT the day to wear heels! I walked all the way down main street…no 1331 Main.  I walked back the other way and decided to call the office I was looking for.  I was already 10 min’s late and my feet were blistered in my damn heels.

I had to cross a very busy street, walking like a penguin…or maybe a duck..I don’t know, but my feet hurt so bad I must have looked like a fool.  I looked around and finally found a small door in the back of a building…again..eek!

It was nice inside however, and I apologized for being late as I was out of breath and covered in sweat.  Great first appearance.  I told the woman that I would probably walk back barefoot until she advised me not too, that someone she knew that always walked barefoot had the flesh eating bacteria disease thingy!!  WHAT? Oh Lord!

I hobbled down the street and back down to the parking garage.  I found my way out and took literally FOREVER to figure out how to pay at the machine.  I couldn’t find the spot for my debit card, and when I fished out a $20 bill the poor attendant said, “Give me that and I’ll give you change or you’ll get almost $20 back in coins…yeah, that would go over well with the cars behind me!

Out of the lot I drove, glad to be going the right way on the one way street.  Out to the rotary I drove around it 3 whole times trying to figure out how and where to exit…geez.

I headed to another meeting in another town I was not familiar with and when that was finally done I got on the highway heading in the wrong direction…damn GPS! It’s the GPS’s fault you know! Seriously.

I can’t see well at night anyway and to make matters worse It started to rain, I was almost out of gas and it was 9pm and I had not eaten all day.

I finally made it home and felt like collapsing to the floor from my adventure and blistered feet.  I could have screamed and blown off the meetings, but I laughed and thought to myself, geez you might think this was my first time in the big city! I wonder how many people looked at me and thought..wow, is she for real?  Hahahaha, at least I can laugh at myself.  Right?

So now I”m happy to be back, literally in my own neck of the woods.

Damn GPS!




-Childlike Elderly Woman-

I had to laugh last week when I was working with the elderly woman I work for, that is paralyzed and in a wheelchair.  Most days, it’s comical, because she is like taking care of a toddler.  This day however, she was more like a teen going out with her friends…but imagine this…Here she is in a wheelchair, paralyzed after a stoke, and her companions for an outing to a “clock store”  with  another elderly couple.  I just shook my head when I saw the gentleman that was going to be doing the driving, some walking out with his cane holding his oxygen bottle, and his wife was trying to get into the car with her walker.  Now I just watched and thought to myself, how the hell are the three of them going out for the afternoon.   Like the blind leading the blind.

Of course the clock store was closed, and the trip was rescheduled…with me! She asked me today if I wanted to go for a ride to the store.  I said, yeah sure. Just get me the address and I’ll find it (it’s in another town). So she calls her “friends” and asks if they want to go out tomorrow, that Tawnya’s gonna drive us! Jesus!! Lord help me.  I told her we should probably go by ourselves because we also need to grocery shop (she is a pain in the butt to shop with) and she said it’s okay, they might need to get groceries too! SERIOUSLY?? UGH! I’m not taking 3 disabled people to the grocery store.  I hate when she volunteers me for things.

The last time we went shopping, it was about 98degrees outside and humid.  She rides around in her chair, while I run around getting her things and showing her things she wants to look at.  And boy can she shop…loves clothes UGH! So she says, I’m thirsty.  I buy her a water and put it in the car as I try to load her, her wheelchair, groceries and myself.  She says “where is my water, I’m thirsty”.  I told her I put it next to her and I will open it when I get the groceries in.  She yells, Come on and hurry up, I’m getting dehydrated”.  I was losing my patients and asked her why she would be dehydrated when all she does is sit there and I do the work.  Again, she said, where is my water, I can’t find it…grrr…hold your friggin horses!

So bringing the three of them out tomorrow will be a real treat.  I think I’ll need something stronger than water when I get home.