Tag Archive | Parenting

Sometimes I don’t know why I try

Picture All I’ve heard from my daughter is how much she wants to come live with me.  So Ive been trying to figure out with my work schedule how I can make this happen.  Working 4 to midnight is not conducive to having a teenager and a 9 year old in the house alone at night.  That is why they live with their father.  He doesn’t work…and that’s a whole other story.
So I signed Jake (my son) up for a three week day camp in the town I live in so he would have something fun to do for a few weeks over summer break. I worked out with my employer a way I can cover my shift from home Sun and Mon nights, and If I have to leave for a work emergency Alicia (my daughter) will watch her brother until I get back.  Tuesdays Alicia goes to a painting class with my mom and Jake hangs out with my dad and then they take Jake until about 9 on Wednesday nights.  Then I’m off until Sunday again.  Well this whole schedule was a pain in the ass in itself to figure out so Jake could come for camp.  Well all I hear from Jake is how he wants to live with me.  Now there are safety issues with them living with their father, and I want them with me. I’ve been looking for a full time position on days, and I went to court and filed for custody of the kids last week.
Now all of a sudden after a weekend at her fathers, Alicia want to stay an extra night because she is “done watching Jake”. I told her I need her home In case I have to go out for work but otherwise I’ll be home.  She says she doesn’t care, have someone else watch him…blah blah.  And she isn’t sure if she wants to live with me because she has all her friends in CT (I am in MA). But my son still wants to live here.
It’s a freaking mess.  I am trying to turn my whole life upside down….finding new jobs (I work 3 to pay my ex child support), filing for custody, finding new health insurance If I leave my full time job and step down to part time until I find full time work.  All the while I don’t really know what to do.  I don’t want to have her live here if she is going to be resentful and angry all of the time because I took her away from her friends but I don’t want to hear that she wants to live with me again if she stays with her dad.  This is NOT a revolving door.  I can’t keep changing major things in my life at the whim of my child.  The thing is, I believe that the issues with her dad are severe enough that she should not be living there, but she is a teen going into high school with her friends, so I get that. I really do.  But I don’t know WHAT to do.  I want my son here regardless.  If she wants to stay with her dad and finish HS then maybe I should just let her.  I am tired of her calling the shots though.
Raising a teen isn’t easy, especially in the situation I’m in.
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

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